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The Three Kick Rule

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural South Eastern Oklahoma close to the Choctaw Nation.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a Choctaw's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly Choctaw drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old Choctaw replied, "This is our property, and you are not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own.The old Choctaw smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in the Choctaw Nation. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Three Kick Rule?"The Choctaw replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on our land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old Choctaw slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the Choctaw's third kick to his end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, old man, now it's my turn."

The old Choctaw smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck" and walked away.